Please note this article was originally published while this publication was called Funland.
For Leap Day this year, me and my Mum went on a day trip to Dublin to do Republic of Irish things. We did not propose to each other; in fact, we only found out that the 2010 movie Leap Year was a. shitty and b. about a tradition(!) of women proposing to men in Dublin, and not the 2010 movie Date Night but with Amy Adams instead of Tina Fey.
Despite only being there for a few tiring hours, I’ve come back with just enough pointers to enjoy your trip in the fair city:
GUINNESS
If there’s anywhere you shouldn’t be going in Dublin, it’s the Guinness storehouse.
The “making of Guinness” section is pretty straightforward, even bogstandard. Yes, there are mechanical parts of the process from Times Long Ago, and you also get to learn how to drink Guinness (do NOT sip it for Arthur’s sake!), but aside from that you can put that section into any museum and it’d fit right in.
Advertising-wise, it’s all a bit disappointing. I know it’s intended for domestic visitors, but soooo many iconic Guinness ads didn’t even get a look-in. Yes, there’s Surfer, Sapeurs and that one that every Irish person becomes agog about every Christmas. But we get spared Anticipation, noitulovE and the one with Michael Fassbender. I did, however, discover this extremely 80s curio directed by the late, legendary Martin Lambie-Nairn.
The fabled Gravity Bar does indeed have gorgeous views of the city… but otherwise it’s no different from the school dinner-esque “restaurant” at London Zoo. It’s disappointingly picnic-y.
I’d recommend you go a couple levels down and eat at the 1837 restaurant instead – the views there are still great, and if you’re lucky you can dine with seagulls! The only caveat is that it doesn’t open until 1pm, and getting through the rest of the storehouse for a basic trip only takes about half an hour, so PLAN YOUR TRIP CAREFULLY.
Also Conan lied to me – at NO point did I see a picture of Paul Rudd. Underwhelming place, this. If you really want to go, go there to eat flatbread.
Irish Museum of Modern Art
The IMMA is bloody lovely though. It’s a fair bit of a hike to get there but once you’re there, it’s so worth it. Like if the Tate Modern was better and also the set of a Jane Austen adaptation aired on BBC One during Christmastime.
The main exhibition on when I went (which will be on until the 21st April 2024, those reading soon after I post this!) was about self-determination and the nation-states that were founded after World War One, in particular Turkiye. Most of it consisted of paintings that neither me or my Mum were fussed about, but in between them were gorgeous examples of video art, conceptual art and conceptual video art that blew us away.
The best piece was Beacons by Jasmina Cibic. Filmed in the Balkans and based on the visions of artists from non-aligned countries, I only saw the last ten minutes and even then I knew how breathtaking it was. Plus, it coexists as both a testament to diversity and revolution, while oozing (at least my interpretation of) Balkan.
There was also an elevated grad show on; showing work by the best of the best students in Ireland. It was a bit more in my league – it was very experiential, with a bouncy tile floor, light-drawing sensors and even an indoor hut. There was one video art installation that I personally liked, but my mum thought was a bit Video Art 101. Let people enjoy things?!
They’ve got a GREAT gift shop too – I would have bought a copy of Ways of Seeing but instead I had to settle on a guidebook for my next trip because it was too late to buy anything good…
Other Iconic Sights in Dublin
The Dublin Express
Takes you wherever you want to go, because the main bit of Dublin feels pretty tiny – you can drive the whole city’s radius in an hour! The caveat is you’ll have to climb twenty hills to get to where you actually want to go…
Trams
Fear not, as there are also trams! Because Dublin is that small, there are only two lines – the green and the red. Or, as I like to call them: “get off at O’Connell Street” and “don’t bother changing trains to get off at O’Connell Street”.
Circle K
Exists outside of Hong Kong and Bill and Ted! And sells ice cream, flavoured water and Dairy Milk bars you can’t get in Britain!
Sbarro
Also exists outside of the ‘2 Become 1’ video!
The Oval Bar
What we Britons call “a traditional Irish pub”, but what the publicans inside call “a pub”. They blast out folk music onto the outdoor garden and into O’Connell.
Haypenny Bridge
Kinda 2020 cottagecore. Makes all the bridges in Dublin look like chumps, but is then humiliated by all the bridges in London. (Also all the Dublin bridges are tiny!)
Tower Records
Still exists (albeit, in a department store)! Unfortunately, it is not a capsule for a time where I was but a twinkle – it’s just like any other record shop, but without Funko pops.
The airport bar
Is a pophead’s paradise. I spent about three hours waiting for my late-night Ryanair flight (DELAYED OBVS) in the Dublin Airport departure lounge and most of it was spent drinking Coke, listening to Britney and watching WWE Smackdown on the bar tellys. Makes any plane a party plane.
