Please note this article was originally published while this publication was called Funland.
hey beauties,
I would’ve posted once a day this week but extra work has gobbled me up! anyway, last week I went to not one but two (or is it five?) brooklyn rep/charles quittner shows and they were both gorgeous, so I wrote about them and took pics.
SCRITCHES #3
THE STATS
WHO? Charles Quittner, their company Brooklyn Rep Productions and the friends who made it all happen.
WHAT? The third edition of Scritches – Brooklyn Rep’s international play pairing showcase that has already hosted work by names like Freddie Love, Daphne Always and the PUF.
WHERE? The Divine (touched for the very first time!)
WHEN? 4th March 2024
WHY? I HAD to support Charles and co and I HAD to pop my Divine cherry… this is making it sound like they’re both obligatory demands when in fact they are VERY MUCH NOT.
Have you ever seen the movie Four Rooms? It was a series of four vignettes directed by four directors about how eccentric hotel guests treat a bellhop (played by a perky Tim Roth). There’s the girl-power one (directed by Alison Anders), the dramatic one (directed by Alexandre Rockwell), the couldn’t-be-done-by-anyone-else one (Robert Rodriguez; I mean his segment was literally just Spy Kids without the spying), and the chaotic free-for-all one (Tarantino).
This edition of Scritches had the exact same energy, but instead of a hotel it was the House of Dreams in Dulwich, and instead of Tim Roth it was this show’s other co-producer, Emily Baldwin.
Stretching Out: written by reid tang, directed by Chyna-Rose Frederick.
A hilarious slice-of-life about a boxer, his trainer and the girl who double-booked the training space.
This first play was probably the funniest; I single out a passage about – or at least “about” according to my illegible notes – how masturbating in public bears little difference to breastfeeding. All the characters are played by Black actresses, with Karis Hinds’ turn as the boxer, Jeremy, being the standout. Whoever was also in charge of block-colour costuming and aesthetics, I must also commend – it was very Love on a Saturday Night. (Remember that show?)
That being said, it wasn’t entirely memorable – it was great in the moment but it’s something that I somehow need to see twice to fully appreciate.
Jude: written by Jesse Morgan-Young, directed by Colin Waitt.
A queer spin on Frankenstein, in which a date goes awry when it’s revealed that one partner brought back their ex from the dead. This particular play hasn’t exactly grown on me as much as it’s been transplanted and stitched onto what’s rotting off me.
Sven Ironside’s performance as the titular “monster” absolutely stole the show, adding a dash of humanity to what is essentially the part of a chimeric zombie. Dan de la Motte’s physicality as the no-longer-grieving Doctor-type, hiding his creation from the world (or, the calmness of Cameron Tharmaratnam) only helped to enhance it.
Threshold: written by Charlie Wood, directed by Pooja Sivaraman.
Tackling the issue of “burying your gays”, as a lesbian tries to save her girlfriend from the great beyond using the aid of therapy. The House of Dreams was born out of grieving for artist Stephen Wright’s partner, hence there being two plays about immortalising the loved and lost. But, unlike Jude, this one was a proper downer.
Beatrice Su and Ellis Jupiter’s chemistry as the boygenius-loving couple made me want to go back on the dating apps, which is a scary prospect. James Boswell’s monologue as the melancholic Death made the audience’s hearts equally heavy. Charlie herself appears, uncredited and unassuming, as the therapist adding the play’s required structure.
Charlie’s someone whose presence has been felt by me and others for years in the London queer scene. She’s a very esoteric artist, and even under Pooja’s direction, you could tell this play was so uniquely Charlie; the immersive woodland nymphness of it all.
Cuntempt: written by Brendan Germain, directed by Charles Quittner.
Starring Jonny Woo in full Jonny Woo domination as the CEO of a finance company, handling the estates of dead people and recently nominated for an award. Shame the award is fake and the company itself isn’t what it seems…
Alongside Woo, Sven Ironside returned shooting sharp as Eastern European secret agent Regina, all legs-in-the-air reciting the word “motherfucker”. Technical director Oluwatayo Adewale stepped in the role of Mark as a last-minute replacement for Aiden Strickland, making the role (presumably) h/er own in a flurry of Kanye West instrumentals and level-headed-ness.
Like Jude, this particular play got stronger towards the end, to the point where it didn’t feel like it hit the ground running until the twist was revealed. Plus I know Hope This Helps didn’t shift many tickets at least by that day, but the shoe-horned plug… groan…
The intermission included a collage competition involving straws, FKA Twigs songs and clovers escaping from genitalia. One of two winners was former Lipsync1000 finalist Arkem Mark Walton, who made a collage about farting. Lavinia Co-Op was also in the audience.
The day ended with a bit of Detroit pizza! I’m trying to watch my weight so I only had a slice, but what a gorgeous slice it was!
In the moment, my thoughts about Four Rooms and Scritches #3 were very similar – the first segment, the girly one, was my favourite. However, in the intervening days, both Jude and Threshold have proved just that little bit stronger from memory. The rating below doesn’t just apply to the show itself, but to each particular play – nothing was weak, but there was at least one point in every show that I wouldn’t consider my cup of tea.
HOPE THIS HELPS
THE STATS
WHO? Those at Brooklyn Rep Productions again, alongside actors Ginger Phlappage and Cade Brannan, with a post-show cabaret by Nat Funni and Kit Khan
WHAT? Hope This Helps, written by Gracie Gardner and again directed by Charles Quittner
WHERE? The Pleasance Theatre (again, touched for the very first time!)
WHEN? 7th March 2024
WHY? I HAD to continue being a groupie, because Charles is my groupie and we are mutual groupies together
New York, the present day. A fed-up lesbian answers a self-awarely insufferable straight guy’s ad on Craigslist for a spa companion. Spending an hour in a Russian banya (wooden sauna), secrets and truths are revealed.
As Darlene, Ginger’s American accent was nearly faultless – I feel like saying “she had a touch of the Kathleen Turner about her” might be a bit of an overstatement, but there was a certain femme-fatale-ness to her lack of faff that made me wonder that statement in the moment. Cade brought an authentic punchability to the role of Brian, yet enough pathos to make him essentially an anti-hero.
With this show being an hour with two people in one setting, with little opportunities for imagination beyond the stories they tell, the show did get a bit sloggish in points, which I know is something that can’t be helped. That being said, Gracie wrote those stories, and built both Darlene and Brian’s individual and shared worlds, so well.
Charles, if you’re reading this, which I know you are, babsie: I know this play is set in real-time, but I would like for a few of the more comedic lines to have a bit more pacing, to allow more laughter room for the audience. That way, there’ll be a bit more of a punch.
Onto the cabaret: this was the first time I’ve seen Nat Funni live, and I feel like they have so much more to offer? I hope to see their own night soon, because I have a strong feeling that the Lizzo lipsync I saw that night is one of their weaker efforts as a performer. As for Kit, I think he wrote his song himself and, if so, it astounds me that he did, as niche as the song’s subject matter is. What a song it was!
In the audience: Envy and her redhead friend who hangs out with her a lot; Barbs and Sharon Le Grand sharing a table. Sharon was exhausted because she was rehearsing as the narrator for Jerker, which I did the social promo for and was gonna see the next day – if not for me taking a wrong turn and getting too lost through Peckham to watch an hour of phone sex. Trust me, life is good!
